Things change by the day. Sometimes, by the minute. Working from home became an option; however, by the time that edict came out, I had already set up the space for the kids to work and I didn't want to disrupt them again. I've been trying to keep their lives as normal as possible.
I go to work Monday through Friday. What used to be a bustling prosecutors' office is quiet and almost sedate. Some people have chosen to work from home and come in a couple of days a week. I actually like that because I like having fewer people around, especially now. When I go into work, the streets are easy to drive with less traffic. I love that. Going back to the way things were is going to be hard.
When I go to work, the first thing I do is wash my hands, go and clock in, then I clean off the outside surfaces, doors, doorknobs, handles, etc. with a Clorox wipe. Does it do any good? I'm not sure, because the info that comes out is that the virus can live for days. I'll look forward to the retrospect on this time to see if any of that was accurate.
What is hard is I just feel filthy all the time. I'm very aware of the microbial world, and right now, I wish it was my friend. So many people are sick and dying. The national response has been atrocious. America is no longer the world leader in anything but stupidity. It's so frustrating to witness this in my lifetime, especially when I thought that by now I'd have life figured out. That is not to be. The only thing I have figured out is that there is no figuring it out, and chaos reigns. Sometimes I envy people who have 'faith' and believe in something. My life experiences have taken all of that from me. Yet, I persist and I keep going. And I'm not sure why. Must be an instinct.
The girls are doing well. There is definitely some tension, but given the circumstances, they have adapted very nicely. We've also had some good news in that their day care will help with their regular school work. That helps tremendously as homeschooling has been a huge stressor for me.
It's very clear to me that the economy that is in place is not good for most people but benefits the few. Our healthcare system is in tatters. As a single parent, I've relied on the school to care for my kids while I worked. That's been taken away during this time. I'm fortunate that I'm able to pay for day care, but there's a cost to that monetarily for me. My so called senior years are not to be. Still, I'm fortunate to still have a paycheck coming in. I've used up my savings and most of my retirement money trying to maintain a standard of living for myself and my kids. At this point, I'm trying to be grateful for the life that is, not the one I dreamed of or the one I have lost.
Easter is a time of rebirth and renewal. May it be so for all the world. If only we could learn, understand, see the bigger picture, do the right things more often, and for the love of all humanity, not be so fucking selfish.
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